SoCalPro Blog

March 29, 2012

Eight Simple Ways To Gain Favor In Selling

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Written by: Alyse Hart
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Southern California Professional Blog-Sales

Many women have a natural proclivity to be pleasing and have been told it’s a bad thing. Let me stir the pot today. It’s a great quality for selling. No matter if you are male or female, to find or keep customers, it’s wise to agree with them whenever you can. Find points of agreement and it will pay off. It’s a brilliant thing to do. Is that being too soft? No, because as you step into someone’s universe, you must suspend your beliefs and you can smoothly make your point. When you are agreeable it is harder for them to go off on you. It’s an automatic tension decelerator. The intention in your sales and communications is to find harmony and it’s a powerful practice.

So I am inviting you to do the opposite of what you might have been taught by tough cookies or what you learned in corporate-ville circa the 1990s or earlier. Those folks found sport in finding the fraction of disagreement and trying to prove their point. All that does is cause more friction and most of us (when we are well fed, rested and comfortable with who we are) prefer cooperation to antagonism any day of the week.

Here’s my top 8 ways to get on the same wavelength:

  1. You get more honey with honey. Leave out the vinegar.
  2. Be sure to rack up “yeses.”
  3. Seek out opportunities to agree without conceding.
  4. Affirm vaguely: “Yes, Elizabeth you have a point there,” or “Yes, Laurie, that was well said.”
  5. Use your body language. Nod your head in affirmation.
  6. Mirror their speed and pitch. When they lower their voice do so too. When they speed up pick up the pace. This subliminally says we’re similar and that is comforting.
  7. Paraphrase and ask, “did I get that right?” they will confirm or correct you.
  8. Stand up for yourself with humor. It breaks the tension.

Here’s a fun example of remaining unfettered. As I spoke to a predominantly male networking group (age 45+), I told them how women influence 83% of all purchases so it’s a good idea to learn new ways. A gentleman joked and asked, “Are you saying we should get in touch with our feminine sides?” It turned suddenly very quiet. I was ready to say something funny when another man dove in and said, “Don’t you listen to everything your wife tells you to do?” Everyone laughed and I didn’t have to have the last word. I simply smiled.

Gaining favor is not about being disingenuous. It is not about sublimating or being a wimp. It’s about being diplomatic and having a wise strategy. I’d love to hear from you. Tell me some of the best ways that you’ve diffused tension or get on the same side?

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About the Author

Alyse Hart
Alyse Hart
Alyse Hart has more than 30 years of sales experience in both B to B and B to C. She is a specialist in relational selling, which works best for companies who put a high priority on doing well by doing good. She works with small business owners and companies with 25 or fewer employees offering hands-on interventions to spot, train and turn around no growth situations. Strategic 1:1 executive coaching for sales managers is available as well as "The Sales Makeover"—her home study foundational program for small business owners who need to know how to sell. She can be reached at 310-463-7815. Read more about Alyse Hart...


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